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24 A midlife crisis is a common stage of development for both men and women around ages 40 - 50. Once they realize that roughly half of their life is over, they may question their purpose and direction in life, worry about aging, regret past decisions and/or worry that they haven't accomplished enough. The old midlife crisis stereotype was a man growing a porn mustache, buying a corvette and dumping his wife for a young bimbo. Nowadays, there's no need for such hackneyed antics. When the ceaseless ticking of life's clock has you feeling uneasy, the internet's modern conveniences can take any average midlife crisis to the next level. 1. Affairs are a snap! Has adultery ever been easier? Thanks to the internet, you can find your college ex in seconds. So what if they were jealous and clingy and histrionically broke up with you in the dorm common room? Time and middle age have worn smooth those bitter edges. Compared to your boring, nagging spouse, they're perfect all over again! This time, it'll be easier to send them those messages they want every five minutes, because your roommate won't pick up the phone and interrupt the AOL dial-up! Yessiree, they're the one that got away. If only you'd stayed with them, your life would be so much better now. If reconnecting with exes is not an option because (a) they still hate you; or (b) they got fat, AshleyMadison.com can help. This site makes having affairs easier than ordering Chinese food. Thankfully, there's no need to pocket your wedding ring and troll single bars like our forefathers had to do back in the day. Thousands of attractive-ish, dissatisfied men and women are yours for the taking. Remember: During your affair, don't neglect your spouse. Inundate your Facebook page with pics of "date night" with the "best husband/wife ever." 2. Broader audience for boasting When you buy those special midlife crisis objets that will make you feel better about your dwindling time on earth, everyone will be green with envy! Literally, everyone. Not just the Joneses! Limitless social media forums are waiting for your post. Installed a saline pool complete with waterfall? Facebook time! Got a new Audi Q5 Hybrid? Instagram that bad boy! It's even more awesome when you act offhand about it. Pose your kids' foreheads microscopically in the bottom right corner of the shot and pretend it's really them that you're showing off to the world. You can also make sure that the cyberworld knows that you're getting fit again after all those years of being pregnant and/or drinking your feelings. Did you jog 5 miles? Have the Runkeeper app post it on Facebook! Then, pretend you didn't know your app was synched up with your feed. Whoops! 3. Cheer up! Misery is everywhere You can't feel too bad about your life. Without fail, there is always some person or animal who is worse off than you, and you get to hear all about them on the interweb. All the time. Just when you're about to succumb to existential malaise and check out of life with back-to-back Breaking Bad episodes, your newsfeed alerts you that a particularly cloudy town is struggling with a rickets epidemic. A one-legged dog has a GoFundMe page for a gallbladder transplant. A bride was ditched at the altar when the groom ran off with his old girlfriend he found on Facebook. Thank goodness for endless misery! 4. Endless inspiration for all of the things that you've failed to accomplish You know how you thought you would've achieved so much more by now than you actually have? Well, there's still time. Thankfully, the internet has the memes to help! There are no limits! (rock climber on a cliff). Never stop trying! (dog missing a Frisbee catch). Inspiration is all around you in the form of stock photos that have succumbed to some idiot's PowerPoint software. Where hard 5 Ways the Internet Can Give You the Best Midlife Crisis... 1 2 3